Last night, as my 5-year-old son clutched a painting his aunt had given him during his recent time in Santa Barbara, I again wondered if this whole idea of open-ended round-the-world travel was the right thing for us, right now. He was sobbing uncontrollably and there was nothing I could do to help him. He’d pull the painting back and look at it and begin crying again, wiping away tears with the corner of the painting. He missed his grandma. He missed his aunt Michelle.
For a while now, my wife and I have been working toward our plan to eventually set off on a season of perpetual travel. Jackson’s tears weren’t the first thing to make me question the plan. It’s a question Monica and I have been asking ourselves since our Central America trip in the fall.
We feel some pressure to “set-off.” We’ve become friends with a lot of nomadic families and others who are planning perpetual travel adventures. Everyone wants to know our exit date. When will we “set-off.”
It’s a question I’ve never been quite comfortable with because to me it implies that I’m not enjoying life now. The implication is that right now I am trudging through life but I’ve got this date on the calendar when we’ll eventually become a nomadic family traveling the world and then life will be great.
My life is great now. I love Lake Tahoe. My life was an adventure as a college student in Indiana. The adventure continued when I moved to Santa Barbara. Now, the adventure continues in Lake Tahoe where I ski 50+ days a year and enjoy all the mountain life has to offer in the summer months when we’re not off on a trip to Central America or some other corner of the world.
Giving our legs a rest. Hanging out at Heavenly Mountain last winter with Monica.
Still, I do want to “set-off” on a season of perpetual travel. I read about the adventures of some of my nomadic friends and think, “I want to do that.”
There’s a part of me, though, that wants what I have now. There’s a part of me — a part of the essence of who I am as a person — that is only expressed when I am traveling. There’s a part of me that was born to travel. Yet there’s this other part of me — a part of the essence of who I am — that is only expressed when I am home. There’s a part of me that was born to be home.
This feeling of wanting to be two people and be two places at once has never been more accurately described for me than by Don Blanding in his poem The Double Life.
How very simple life would be
If only there were two of me
A Restless Me to drift and roam
A Quiet Me to stay at home.
A Searching One to find his fill
Of varied skies and newfound thrill
While sane and homely things are done
By the domestic Other One.And that’s just where the trouble lies;
There is a Restless Me that cries
For chancy risks and changing scene,
For arctic blue and tropic green,
For deserts with their mystic spell,
For lusty fun and raising Hell,But shackled to that Restless Me
My Other Self rebelliously
Resists the frantic urge to move.
It seeks the old familiar groove
That habits make. It finds content
With hearth and home — dear prisonment,
With candlelight and well-loved books
And treasured loot in dusty nooks,With puttering and garden things
And dreaming while a cricket sings
And all the while the Restless One
Insists on more exciting fun,
It wants to go with every tide,
No matter where…just for the ride.
Like yowling cats the two selves brawl
Until I have no peace at all.One eye turns to the forward track,
The other eye looks sadly back.
I’m getting wall-eyed from the strain,
(It’s tough to have an idle brain)
But One says “Stay” and One says “Go”
And One says “Yes,” and One says “No,”
And One Self wants a home and wife
And One Self craves the drifter’s life.
The Restless Fellow always wins
I wish my folks had made me twins.
I long for nomadic living. There’s a freedom that comes with having all your possessions in only a backpack. But there’s that other self shackled to the restless me. It’s the self who loves setting the table with my grandmother’s china and going to my wine cellar and pulling out a bottle I’ve been saving and pouring it into my crystal decanter. That self loves the art Monica and I have collected and displayed in our home. That self loves his treasured loot in dusty nooks.
Boarding a flight on Big Corn Island, Nicaragua with Jackson when he was 1-year-old.
And as I enjoy a great dinner at home in this setting that I love, I read Facebook status updates from friends in Thailand and Mongolia and India and Patagonia and I want to be there.
Lately, I feel like I’ve been negotiating with my two selves. Monica and I have discussed the idea of moving somewhere new. We’ve looked at places in South America and Southeast Asia and have thought that maybe we’ll move and establish a new home in a new place to experience new things. But Thailand is a long way from grandma and aunt Michelle, and I also didn’t expect I’d come to love Tahoe as much as I do. I love to ski. I love it. It has become the great act of happiness in my life. We could spend winters in Tahoe and still have 6 months a year to travel. There is the question of our home here and carrying that cost. Could we rent it out 6 months a year?
What I want… what I really want is all of the above.
When I think about my life in a broad sense I think I’d like there to be a season of my life when we spend winters in Tahoe and the rest of the year traveling. I’d like to live in Southeast Asia for a few years or South America for a few years. I’d like there to be a time in my life when I set off on perpetual travel.
Whatever season we’re in now or preparing for next, three important tenants remain the same.
- No debt.
- Keep expenses low.
- Location independent income.
So, when do we set-off?
We already have.
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I’m on a quest to work less, live more, and travel the world with my family. I am trying to live very intentionally and trying to arrange my life so that it reflects what I value most. If you’re on a similar journey I’d like to know about it. Reach out, let’s get connected, and let’s support one another. You can find us on Facebook and Twitter or you can subscribe to our RSS.
A tear in my eye-I haven’t heard that poem before; I think it was written for me! Very moving post, lots to think about.
I’ve met so many travelers who think that poem was written just for them! I first came across it in a Jimmy Buffet book.
Ignore any pressure you feel from anyone else. Why shouldn’t you travel six months and be in Tahoe for 6 months? It’s no different to anything else you’ve created in your life. Decide how you want it to be and then make it happen. You might just have to find a way to jack up your income for the six months you are home to cover the house for the six months you are away. You can definitely do it. And I can’t imagine you without your saved bottle of wine and the crystal decanter actually! It seems a part of who you are – rather than just “stuff” you’ve amassed. You once told me every piece of art in your house has a story – that makes it more than just stuff really!
We are all keenly waiting for baby news here in Australia……..
Tracey, I can always count on you for a “who cares what everyone else thinks…” comment!
And, I think you’re right on!
Welcome to the group Clark…
Second guessing ourselves has become a all consuming part of our lives (second guessing might not be the right word, perhaps more the problem of seemingly infinite options and their associated choices).
Should we stop in Penang, should we move to Guatemala, should we XYZ.
Like you, our whole family love the snow… We’ve just finished 3 snow winters in one Calendar year and we know that every year from now on we’d love to head to a resort for 3-4 months and snowboard/ski everyday.
The final issue for us is that we want the kids to be in an actual school, while we understand homeschooling, the kids love the school life so the main question is where we’ll spend the other 8 months of the year.
Cheers and welcome to the club
Colin, I think the internal struggle is just part of living an examined life. We should all be asking ourselves occasionally, “Am I where I want to be? Is this where I want to live? Is this how I want to spend my life?”
Steve Jobs said that he asked himself every morning, “If today was to be my last day on earth, is what I’m doing today how I would want to spend my day?” And whenever the answer to that question was something other than what he was doing for too many days in a row, he knew it was time to change.
Right now, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. There may be days that’s not the case, but generally it is.
Touched a cord with me. We left home in October and I thought it would be for a long time the start of a nomadic life. Now we are thinking of going back in June(my idea) at least for the summer and doing 5-6 months at home with some local trips and then travel somewhere far the rest. I like having a base and would miss not being in the mountains for the summer. I’m also finding that although I love to travel, I miss the US and being away makes me appreciate it more. And I think my son would like to see friends for at least a few months. About the only thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to put my kids back into the school system. Which is funny because that was the one thing I was on the fence about.
Also, we live in a place similar to Tahoe and had no problem renting our home out for 6 months mostly furnished. There are a lot of people wanting to test out living in the mountains or relocating and need a place for a few months as they look to buy or lease long term. And if you are just looking to recoup your rent/mortgage plus a few bucks you will have a lot of takers since most furnished vrbos rentals are pricey. Best of luck!
Hey, wait a second Jen….. I think you and I have a solution to our dilemma…. I want to be in the mountains in the winter. You want to be in the mountains in the summer. Sounds like we just need to share a house. Now I just need to convince you to move to Tahoe!
Not a bad idea. I think we could be convinced to move to Tahoe. From your posts it looks to have our favorite activities for summer. Biking and SUP! Seriously, we should all keep this in mind.
How beautifully expressed this essential existential dilemma. Enjoy the internal struggle for that is the adventure which as you say has already started and cannot be stopped!
Stuart, maybe the best comment ever on this blog!
The existential dilemma…
I’m not sure I’ll ever feel truly “settled” wherever I am. There’s a constant questioning. It’s part of living an examined life.
Years ago, in a lifetime before kids, my husband and I set off for 12 months in SE Asia. We had not been on the road a month when my brother announced a wedding date 1/2 way through our trip. At first we were angry, then disappointed…our “plans” had been rocked. Then we realized he and his fiancée had plans too. Why should his life be interrupted to accommodate mine?
In the end, we traveled 6 months on our 12 month budget and were able to have some adventures we wouldn’t have been able to afford otherwise.
Why am I sharing this? Just to let you know that whatever you decide to do, it is all good!
Enjoy the adventure!
This much I know…. “whatever you decide, it is all good!”
[...] my wife and I are not in a hurry to set-off on a Round-the-World trip. I titled the piece, “When does the adventure begin?“ For us, the adventure already has begun. We don’t have jobs that we hate. [...]